Shocked by Goodness
- Eric Crowley
- Mar 5, 2018
- 7 min read
There are several definitions for the word "shock":
-to cause someone to feel surprised
-to collide violently
-throw troops into confusion by charging at them
Have you ever experienced being shocked by goodness? I’m sure you have. It could be by a mere experience: being amazed and dumbfounded by the goodness and beauty of a landscape, by the immensity of the ocean, by a sunset. Or more powerfully it can be due to the actions of a person: firefighters running with reckless abandon straight in to the Twin Towers. Sometimes the mere presence of a person can overwhelm us with a sense of goodness: lovers are awestruck that there can be someone else so good in this world.
I hope we’ve all by shocked by goodness. I think this is one of the defining characteristics of my time here in the Philippines. I constantly see myself being shocked by goodness. At least once I day I catch myself having that sensation.
This past month has been a month of missions. The ministry I serve with, Pure Heart, has had the blessing to go in to many schools, and just last month we spoke to about 1,500 teenagers. We usually go class by class and spend a whole day with each class, talking to them about what they were created for (love), true love vs. false love, and how they can live their sexuality in a way that will lead them to true love and happiness through chastity. At the end of each day we separate the guys and girls and we meet with them in small groups to have a time of open discussion. I am amazed when they begin to share so openly: the struggles of a broken family, a father who is not there, sexual abuse, struggles with pornography addiction, feeling unloved and unloveable. They desire so profoundly to love and to be loved. Each time without fail, I sit there and look upon them as they share, and I am shocked by their goodness.
One place where you may not expect to have this experience of being shocked by goodness is in a jail. And yet, you may be surprised to hear that this is one of the places I encounter this goodness most deeply. I’ve been helping out at a local jail called “Second Chance,” a jail for kids as young as 8, up to 18. These kids have done anything from minor theft to more serious crimes like rape. Many of their parents are in the adult jail across the street. We have a short Bible reading and sharing time, and when listening to their experiences, one would never know that these kids are “criminals.” They’re just little boys inside, and they have an innocence that pierces your heart. If you’ve ever felt bored or unmoved in Mass, just come on down to Mass at the Second Chance jail! The kids literally scream out the songs from the depths of their hearts, and they shout out all the responses with energy and joy. It’s really a cry from the soul to their Father. And when we have Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, they go right up and rub the monstrance and kiss it, and then kneel before Jesus, unmoving, for 30 minutes. I am dumbfounded; awestruck; astounded; startled. These boys that the world considers dangerous, a waste, hopeless: I am shocked by their goodness.
Or my friend Marilyn. She’s a mother of three, and very poor. She always invites me to her house for food. This past week she told me: “I know I can’t offer you much. I can’t even offer you nice food! But I can offer you lots of food! That’s how I show love.”
And just today, as I was leaving Mass, I stopped to say hi to my homeless friends who sleep on a nearby street. They were just waking up for the day, with big smiles on their faces. I don’t even wake up with a big smile on my face most days! (Maybe I can get there after a shower and some coffee!). I went over to ask how they were doing, and one of the men, Topher, said, “I’m so hungry, so hungry.” But he didn’t ask me for food. As I was talking with them, he and his wife Sandy began to scrounge around for any food they had hidden away, and found an apple and some chips. First, Sandy offered me the bag of chips. Then Topher offered me his apple! I couldn’t believe it. I just stood their, taken aback by this act of pure generosity. There was no thought of self. It was all about how they could make my life better in that moment. Again, I was shocked by goodness.
Have you ever shocked someone else by something that you’ve done? I like to shock the kids here sometimes by doing backflips (and then my now aging body usually screams in protest when I try to get out of bed the next day). Have you ever shocked anyone with goodness? We shouldn’t be afraid to do that. Sometimes we may feel like it wouldn’t be “humble.” But what did Jesus say? “Your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father” (Mt. 5:16). We don’t do the good deed so that we can be seen, but if others happen to see it and are drawn to goodness, then the goodness is multiplied.
There are many homeless people here in Cebu. From old to young, grandparents to children. You find them alone or in families, laying on pieces of cardboard on the sidewalks. As I walk around the city, I always desire to help them. But how! What can I say? As I approach, I feel that yearning to do something, to say something, but usually fear kicks in, and I find myself trying to make eye-contact, and then just walking by. Have you ever felt that way? Wanting to help, but feeling totally unable, ill-equipped? I mean, I can’t give money to every person. I can’t take every person out to lunch. And what am I going to say if I don’t have any material goods to offer?
One day I was walking and I saw a homeless woman ahead. I felt a powerful urge to talk to her, but again, the fear and the doubt kicked in. I saw that she looked like a rough character and probably not in the mood to chat with some stranger. But as I got nearer, I couldn’t resist the desire to stop. So I did. I knelt down beside her and introduced myself. She looked up with a huge smile on her face, and we ended up having a nice conversation. And I realized as I sat their on the ground with her that many people were stopping and watching us. I don’t know why they stopped; I don’t know what stirred in their hearts; but they stopped. And they noticed that woman. The woman they probably walk by every day without even seeing her. The woman that is avoided because…well, she’s homeless, and I don’t have anything in common with her, and she just wants my money, and I wouldn’t know what to say to her anyway…I had felt the same way, many times before. The only difference was, this time, I stopped. I treated her as a person; I saw her goodness. And through that, a few others were shocked by goodness as well.
So for Lent I decided that one of my “offerings” would be to stop and talk to every homeless person I encountered. Even if it’s an inconvenience, or I’m scared and don’t know what to say. And I’ve had some amazing encounters! Like when I met JL, a 9 year old boy who lost both parents and lives alone on the streets. He was lying in the middle of the sidewalk asleep in a busy part of town around 11am. I knelt down and gently woke him up. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat. He was very skeptical, and wouldn’t smile or admit that he was hungry. So I pretended to walk away, and as I suspected he followed me. We went to Jollibee, a fast-food restaurant here, to get some lunch.
As we ate lunch, JL kept watching the kids who were playing on the indoor playground. They were running around and screaming and having fun. I asked him if he wanted to play, and each time he just shook his head and looked down at his food. He had been so wounded, so abandoned, that he couldn’t bring himself to just be a kid, to have fun, to let that natural joy come out. Again, many people just watched us as we ate and talked together. A few people actually came over and asked if I was a missionary, and began to talk to JL.
He still hadn’t smiled at this point. We left the restaurant, and walked through the streets. People stared at us the whole way. He told me he wanted sandals (he was barefoot), so we stopped in a store to get some. He wanted some new shorts and a shirt too, so I followed him around the store until he found something he liked. By the end, at least half the store was watching us. Six or seven employees were gathered around trying to help JL pick out his new wardrobe! It was so beautiful. They were attracted by his goodness; they wanted to help him. If he had been on the street they might have walked by, but not out of meanness or neglect; more out of fear and feeling unable to help. But now here they were, going out of their way to serve. As we left the store, I turned around, and still literally half the place was looking at us. I waved goodbye to them, and they all smiled.
Still, JL wouldn’t smile. I walked along with him through the streets for a while longer, but eventually I really had to get going. I thanked him for hanging out with me and said my goodbyes. He walked away without reacting. But as I was about to turn the corner, he looked back, with a big grin on his face - only for an instant - and then he turned around and ran off.
Shocked by goodness. I am shocked by the goodness of others. And when I respond to that goodness, I can, even without doing much, shock others by goodness. It’s not me they see. I’m just revealing to them a goodness in the poor that was already there, but maybe difficult to see.
Let’s not be afraid to “shock” people by goodness. Find that person in school, at work, on the streets, in your apartment building, in your family: that one who is alone or different or sad or in need of help. And just treat them as a person. Invite them to go get a meal. Sit and talk with them. Learn about their life, their story. You may not shock others by goodness; but then again, maybe you will. Regardless, I guarantee that you yourself will be shocked by the goodness that you find.
God bless you all! You are in my prayers,
Eric
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